


fendiman

by galaxy_within



Series: dorms of bangtan [2]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: 14 bro chilling in a dorm, Alcohol, Canon Continuation, Crack, Drunk as fuck, For scientific reasons jb is the eldest member (godsped), Gen, How Do I Tag, Jackson is a Little Shit, Jb and jin are besties, Kim taehyung is the best character, M/M, and i think thats great, bam bam is bae, cuz they are gae, everyone is a little crackish, i think that im ill bc idk why i wrote this, jackson and joon went bonsai shopping and bitch they created a monster, jackson wants namjoon to end him, jb is done with life, jimin and jackson want to seduce joon, jin and jb talk about drugging people umm, mark is baby, someone eats a key, tae tae wants revengeeeee, yes i sneaked in some sope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxy_within/pseuds/galaxy_within
Summary: the story of how the got7 members ended up in bear onsies in the bangtan dorm.can be read as a prequel of "soobin's delivery service" or as a stand alone
Series: dorms of bangtan [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170935
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	fendiman

**Author's Note:**

> someone commented about this and so i thought about in then i wrote a shitty fic.
> 
> enjoy
> 
> update: in this fic jb is older than mark. we'll just roll with it.

it all started normal, well as normal as any story can be. it was a fair night in jaebeom's apartment. all silent and well. then there was a brief knock on the door. not a friendly knock but like a "it's the police get your fine ass out of this house" kinda knock. and so jaebeom, the ever daring person he is, decided to answer it. he walks to the door, with a pan in his hand preparing to go all tangled on whomever dares to knock. he twists the doorknob and is promptly attacked. "you fucking asshat get off me!" he screams (only after recognizing the weight of none other than jackson wang's flat ass digging into his ribs.)  
"what the hell are you doing here?"  
"we've come to save you from your own reclusive ass"  
he looks over to see mark and bam-bam with overnight bags thrown over their shoulders.  
"holy fuck." he whispers.  
for someone who planned to spend the night curled up in a ball with his cats, this is not at all what he envisioned.  
"bro, language!" bam responds as he pushes his way into the apartment, looking back only to yell a loud "c'mon bitches."  
"yeah….. bitches?" jaebeom says with far less enthusiasm (and well hidden happiness)  
a joyful youngjae skips into the room with an annoyed yugyeom and a sleepy jinyoung at his side.  
"if you don't mind me asking, why is there a pan in your hand?" youngjae asks with a pointed look towards the object.  
"i thought you guys were murderers or the cops or something."  
"you were gonna attack the cops with a frying pan?"  
jaebeom nods with a look of pure truth in his eyes.  
"well have you ever seen this many hot cops in one place?" bam prompts.  
"only outside my apartment, i'm not an animal!"  
".. i know what you're implying. but i don't wanna know." yugyeom says with a vivid blush on his cheeks.  
"patience, young grasshopper. patience." mark whispers. 

this is gonna be a long night. 

with the turn of the night there is a turn in attitude. how do seven people become so…. extra in ten minutes?  
it's a true mystery.  
jaebeom swears that if bam or jackson dab one more time he's jumping out of the window.  
jb walks around like an ill appointed party host, attempting to figure out what is happening.  
there is of course humorous death threats (jinyoung)  
then there's cat attacks…. the animals are being attacked, not the guys.  
jackson sits in a corner with youngjae and yugyeom telling them an over enthusiast story of him and namjoon going bonsai shopping the previous weekend.  
"like that dude loves them. we were at the florists and he was like talking to them." he stops to laugh before going on in a bad imitation of namjoon's voice "'baby, are you okay? you look a little under the weather. are you thirsty?'" he pauses, wiping a tear off his face before staring directly at the other three men. "y'know it was making me feel some kinda way. like damn that man could choke slam me and i'd die happily."  
"damnnnn, jackson." mark yells from across the room. he rolls his eyes and walks over to the group. "y'know we should just invite them over."  
"my apartment is way too small for all of you idiots." jb reminds them, gesturing around to an already crowded space.  
"wait- i know" bam-bam stage whispers, "let's just show up their dorm buck-ass naked and force them to let us in." he winks and then falls into a random cat bed.  
"we're a little too young to be arrested.." yugyeom points out.  
"i mean true but it's not like they won't appreciate this fa-"  
"bam, if you say fatass i'm leaving."  
"bro, you know me so well!" 

after 15 minutes of whining and a long phone call with taehyung (mark called him and then promptly launched into a rant about how impractical twitch is for un-tech savvy people such as he.) the seven boys begin packing up their bags, preparing to invade the dorm of their friends… fully clothed much to bam-bam's great disappointment. 

after ten minutes the boys finally arrive at the dorms. they file out of their cars and walk towards the door. before they can get so much as a foot away from the house a light flashes out of the window. they panic. there are a few screams from a few of the members as jb grabs them and they run towards the bushes. they jump in and wait. mark is nowhere to be seen.  
"hyung, what if this isn't the right house and what if we're gonna be killed. and oh my god- oh my god." a voice whisper shouts.  
jaebeom turns, a look of fear clouding his eyes. 

because that's not the voice of one of his members. 

fuck. 

jb turns quickly pushing bam-bam and yugyeom behind him as he walks towards the strange voice. 

there sits a younger boy clad in dark clothes….

jungkook sits there giggling at the older. "you should've seen your face, hyung! it was priceless!" he falls forward onto the older, and soon the others join.  
"dude, what the hell was that. i thought we were gonna die." bam tells jungkook.  
"that was the point. now get the hell out of my plant bed or i'll personally let jk beat your asses." responds a voice, who shows himself as namjoon.  
"joon, i bet jackson would personally let you beat his ass." jinyoung says as he winks at the older in question.  
"dude, i'd let him beat me to a pulp and then some." jackson responds before jumping out of the bushes and onto namjoon.  
the others follow suit and are soon sitting around the dorm. 

"okay, so get this. what if we just give them all melatonin and then tell them a bedtime story and go get shitfaced." seokjin tells jb.  
the two eldest members of the groups sit at the kitchen table, occasionally looking over to watch whatever game the 12 younger men play around yoongi (who sits in the middle of the mess playing guitar amongst the chaos.)  
"i'm glad you guys are here." jaebeom hears jin say. he turns around to look at the older man. "they've all been so stressed and i think we're all tired of eachother.. it's nice to see some fresh faces."  
"i know what you mean," jb responds, "i feel like we never see anyone else. with this whole thing going on with the contract and whatever the fuck is going down with the guys. it's nice." 

while both guys are from totally different groups jb knows that they have a lot in common, they're both the oldest members, they both want what's best for their friends, and they both are honestly stressed as fuck. they deserve a bottle of good wine. jb grabs the bottle between the two of them and attempts to open it. as soon as the top pops there is a sudden heat in the room as 12 other guys all crowd in the kitchen.  
"bitch, we should've drugged them."

jin only speaks the truth. 

soon the younger members are pulling out random assortments of alcohol all intending on getting drunk off their asses. it's honestly funny watching the reactions of all the guys. jbloves it. 

as the night dwindles on from 12 to 1 to 2 am the guys start to wear down. 

only then does jaebeom realize that their overnight bags are at the end of the driveway in their cars. and it's cold as fuck.  
jb is mostly sober so he finds an equally sober yoongi (well not sober, but yoongi is fucking halarious when he's drunk.) jb tells yoongi of their problem, the older slips on shoes and attempts to retrieve the bags, only to walk back inside after declaring it "way too cold to exist" outside.  
"wait, we have like 7 onsies around here somewhere." yoongi whispers.  
jaebeom is confused, but doesn't question it.  
"tae wanted them, and we're all very weak people so we couldn't say no." yoongi mumbles under his breath.  
jb gets led to a freakishly large closet at the end of the dorm. yoongi walks inside, stumbles on something (the man is drunk, jb can't judge him), curses, and promptly walks out of the closet holding something that looks way too much like a body bag for comfort.  
"why are your 'onsies' in a body bag?" jaebeom questions.  
"namjoon told me to put them up last time and so i wanted to hide them because y'know" he drops the bag to make jazz hands "morid embarrassment." 

that makes sense. 

yoongi unzips the bag and reveals the cutest, pastel blue bear onesies jaebeom has ever seen. they each grab a few of the pyjamas and walk back to the living room.  
"okay, you'll take those three i'll get the others." yoongi orders before marching like the reluctant soldier he is to jackson, the self-proclaimed 'flirty drunk' (for the past hour jb has witnessed jimin and jackson attempting to seduce namjoon. they have used all forms of seduction including sexually dance to 'lullaby', dressing as flappers, and the ever popular creepily winking at the sleepy namjoon.)  
jaebeom walks to an inebriated mark and replaces his uncomfortable street clothes with the pastel onesie.  
after a struggle yoongi lays in a pile of random blankets and curls up with hoseok and jb is alone again.  
he looks down at his own clothes and then at the onesie in his hand. 

it's his only choice. 

jb wakes up at 10 am… everyone is gone.

so are his clothes. 

he walks towards the kitchen and taps hoseok, who is making coffee (god bless him) on the back.  
"so, where are the guys and our clothes." hoseok just laughs.  
"the early bird gets the worm jb-ah" 

oh god. 

< 8 hours ago … taehyung pov >

taehyung wakes up at 2 am. he looks around to find all of the guys asleep… seven of them are sporting the onesies that he bought a while ago.  
hmmmm…  
they look comfy, but where were his precious pjs before?  
in taehyungs still drunk state he takes it as a challenge. if they take his clothes, he should take theirs. and prevent them from committing their horrible crime again. 

at three am tae finally lies back down. 

only after the determined (i.e. drunk) man had retrieved all of the bags from mark and jackson's cars and had locked them along with the entirety of bangtan's wardrobe in the storage room….

and swallowed the key. 

everyone is so hungover that they don't give a flying fuck. 

so when soobin comes over with a trophy in his hands the seven bear-onesie-clad men don't think twice before scaring the poor boy. 

and that's the story of got7 in onesies. don't drink kids.  
or eat keys


End file.
